Just What I Am


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mymindsarchive replied to your post: for real though. it’s a fucked up struggle to get out from being stuck. no matter how hard you try, it just finds it’s way back to you somehow. it’s the worst. :(

Yes!!! A fucked up and CONSTANT struggle. You feel you pull yourself…

YES. Omg idk how many nights I’ve gotten like 1-2 hrs sleep cause I was too busy thinking. I hate it so much, I literally felt like my anxiety was going to kill me. And I’m like wtf man. It’s tough and it makes me sad when I relate so well to people like you cause this feeling is something you wouldn’t wish on anyone else. And I also wish I had some kind of advice to give to help, but like how am I gunna give advice on something I can’t even get myself out of you know? Lol I try and tell myself all the positive shit till I actually believe it. Some days I do, others I don’t. Things get so overwhelming, it’s so rough.

god damn, im just kinda glad about it right now that you can relate with this as well as i do lol. regardless, its sad generally. throughout summer, i’ve been down on my mind than i ever been before. heart got too heavy, stomach kept churning, my mind was running through some wild shit, and i could barely sleep cause i was afraid of the things i wasn’t going to be emotionally ready for because then there’s gonna be questions left unanswered, you’ll start to blame yourself, and when you wanna do whats best, it feels wrong. you feel like with all the advice you get like “you’ll be fine” and “you’ll move past it” it just results into something you don’t wanna hear and it ends up hurting badly. all in all, you just feel like it won’t settle itself out.

I completely understand. I feel the exact same way!!! Especially the heavy heart
:( that’s what I hate the most. Feel like I can’t breathe. The affects of broken heartedness. Sometimes people say the dumbest things to try and help you but words ain’t gunna work for nobody. For someone else who doesn’t understand I’d feel better if they just listened and said nothing at all. So many times people don’t listen to what you’re actually saying and they come out with “well you just gotta stay strong, keep moving” like what? You think I don’t know that. If being strong and moving could answer my problems they’d all be gone by now. I’m so tired of talking to other people about it cause they all tell me the same things so I keep it to myself most of the time which typically makes things a lot worse. I guess it’s better to find someone who relates and understands. At least we’re not the only ones lol

i really like the way you think. you’re right about everything. people expect you to take it all in and walk it off, but what help is that gonna do when i hit that sinking feeling where my heart really gets to the bottom? i mean, they believe that unfixable problems can be repaired so easily. im honestly the same way because even if i try to explain my problems to other people and they don’t understand, what’s the use? im better off with people who get what im saying otherwise i remain quiet and just keep thoughts on my own. :(

Thank you lol but you’re right, it’s just not as simple as everyone around you thinks. So many people are so oblivious when it comes to what’s really going on. Can’t tell anyone what’s going on cause they don’t understand but you can’t keep it in because it drives you crazy. It’s so back and forth, makes you think like how could there be any way out? I still believe there is a way out though…just don’t know what it is yet. But I hope what you’re going through eases up. Day by day, we’re still making it.

thats exactly taking the words out of my mouth lol. if i were to tell anyone the truth on what i go through, they’re just gonna think im crazy. and i mean assuming that i need help cause i’m surrounded by people that dont consider the consequences. its times like those i wish i had a friend to at least have some sense and discuss, cause not many people are willing to get you straight as a whip. i believe you that there could be a way out, but its all in a strategy. because even if we do manage to forget, we’re left things that may remind us, which as i said, finds its way back around, and thats the glue to being stuck. i just hope for the best, but for now, its a numbing process.

OMG yes yes yes. Sammmmee, we’re twins! Lol not to make it into some kinda joke cause it really is so sad what’s happening but I mean we’re in the complete same mind set here. I’m in that numbing process too, it’s like what’s the point of caring about anything…..but then if I’m being honest deep down I still really do care or else I probably wouldn’t feel as bad! I get so annoyed with myself tbh

we must be, i can picture a lot of what you’re saying like it’s something i would also say lol but i got you, we really do think alike though. i wanna seem like “i dont give a fuck” as well, but then it just seems like its not proving much worth and you’ll just be even more damaged than how you started. its all so complicated, but it cant be much of a problem if its balanced i guess :/. believe me, i’m as annoyed as you are.

Right!!! Every night I’m just like ….whaaaaattt theeee fuuuuck lol cause it’s so complicated and I don’t want to be the way I am but idk what do about it! I’ve literally tried everything possible to somehow change and nothin. So it’s just like wtf.

yeah, i definitely got you on that. by night, i could try and think of as many plans and things to say as much as i want, but there’s no benefitting to it. it all goes downhill because in hopes of having some change to go your way for once, it’s the complete opposite. then it goes to being in regret, and feeling like shit, just not sure to know what to do anymore. some people are just so careless about feelings these days, it saddens me. so, you’re not far off.

Very true. But I also feel like those people who are so careless with others and their feelings are worse off than people like us. I can speak for myself at least. I think those who treat others wrongly are also unhappy, but it’s worse for them because they feel so terrible about themselves, they’re so far gone, they don’t recognize how they’re hurting others. We get hurt, so we know how it feels and we can then go on and treat someone better than we were treated. And in a way doing good for others can make you feel better. Not completely but a little. However the ones who are doing the hurting….still hurt in the end. We feel like the broken ones …but I don’t really think we are..

i strongly agree with you. what makes it even worse for them is that once they bring the pain amongst them, they can’t snap out of it and don’t realize what they do. you see, we get hurt, but for the most part, we have reason. however, it sounds as if we could be just like them…

Yes. It’s very easy to become just as bad as them. I’ve seen it in myself, start to treat others wrongly looking for some kind of control…like I’m not the one getting hurt this time, but it doesn’t fix anything. It pays off to be good to others.

that’s because we let emotions get the best out of us. for me, i know it’s hard to see people change from who they used to be. controlling them wouldn’t be fair because it’s all up to their personality and they think to “grow out of their ways” where you can’t even tell them right through wrong. but its even more heartwrenching when its someone you truly care about. just knowing that they don’t feel how they used to about you, you know?

Yeah I get you. That’s the worst :( Seeing it all play out in front of you and you can’t do anything about them no longer feeling the same. Slowly destroys you.

exactly. like, a piece of you just dies inside because you never intended for it go in such a manner. not only that, but you also tend to feel like you gave it your all, but sadly it wasnt enough. i’m telling you, don’t even try to hear those words when you develop actual feelings for a person. that’s where you break. :(

Omg :( I know it’s sad ! It surprises me how hard it is to find someone to love you. Like for real love, through the thick and thin type shit…sad.

i know, it’s incredible how surprising it is. the thing about love is that you don’t know whether you’re too early or too late to know when it’s real. real requires a meaning of many things so it could be a love that would last forever. and there’s too much pressure into finding “the one”, but its not as simple as it used to be either. you want that someone that listens to you, that provides for you, that cares for you, that’s willing to live & die with you, that makes you not feel miserably alone and that gives you love that’s never been had before. you want the one that could be your everything, you know?

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heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive replied to your post: for real though. it’s a fucked up struggle to get out from being stuck. no matter how hard you try, it just finds it’s way back to you somehow. it’s the worst. :(

Yes!!! A fucked up and CONSTANT struggle. You feel you pull yourself…

YES. Omg idk how many nights I’ve gotten like 1-2 hrs sleep cause I was too busy thinking. I hate it so much, I literally felt like my anxiety was going to kill me. And I’m like wtf man. It’s tough and it makes me sad when I relate so well to people like you cause this feeling is something you wouldn’t wish on anyone else. And I also wish I had some kind of advice to give to help, but like how am I gunna give advice on something I can’t even get myself out of you know? Lol I try and tell myself all the positive shit till I actually believe it. Some days I do, others I don’t. Things get so overwhelming, it’s so rough.

god damn, im just kinda glad about it right now that you can relate with this as well as i do lol. regardless, its sad generally. throughout summer, i’ve been down on my mind than i ever been before. heart got too heavy, stomach kept churning, my mind was running through some wild shit, and i could barely sleep cause i was afraid of the things i wasn’t going to be emotionally ready for because then there’s gonna be questions left unanswered, you’ll start to blame yourself, and when you wanna do whats best, it feels wrong. you feel like with all the advice you get like “you’ll be fine” and “you’ll move past it” it just results into something you don’t wanna hear and it ends up hurting badly. all in all, you just feel like it won’t settle itself out.

I completely understand. I feel the exact same way!!! Especially the heavy heart
:( that’s what I hate the most. Feel like I can’t breathe. The affects of broken heartedness. Sometimes people say the dumbest things to try and help you but words ain’t gunna work for nobody. For someone else who doesn’t understand I’d feel better if they just listened and said nothing at all. So many times people don’t listen to what you’re actually saying and they come out with “well you just gotta stay strong, keep moving” like what? You think I don’t know that. If being strong and moving could answer my problems they’d all be gone by now. I’m so tired of talking to other people about it cause they all tell me the same things so I keep it to myself most of the time which typically makes things a lot worse. I guess it’s better to find someone who relates and understands. At least we’re not the only ones lol

i really like the way you think. you’re right about everything. people expect you to take it all in and walk it off, but what help is that gonna do when i hit that sinking feeling where my heart really gets to the bottom? i mean, they believe that unfixable problems can be repaired so easily. im honestly the same way because even if i try to explain my problems to other people and they don’t understand, what’s the use? im better off with people who get what im saying otherwise i remain quiet and just keep thoughts on my own. :(

Thank you lol but you’re right, it’s just not as simple as everyone around you thinks. So many people are so oblivious when it comes to what’s really going on. Can’t tell anyone what’s going on cause they don’t understand but you can’t keep it in because it drives you crazy. It’s so back and forth, makes you think like how could there be any way out? I still believe there is a way out though…just don’t know what it is yet. But I hope what you’re going through eases up. Day by day, we’re still making it.

thats exactly taking the words out of my mouth lol. if i were to tell anyone the truth on what i go through, they’re just gonna think im crazy. and i mean assuming that i need help cause i’m surrounded by people that dont consider the consequences. its times like those i wish i had a friend to at least have some sense and discuss, cause not many people are willing to get you straight as a whip. i believe you that there could be a way out, but its all in a strategy. because even if we do manage to forget, we’re left things that may remind us, which as i said, finds its way back around, and thats the glue to being stuck. i just hope for the best, but for now, its a numbing process.

OMG yes yes yes. Sammmmee, we’re twins! Lol not to make it into some kinda joke cause it really is so sad what’s happening but I mean we’re in the complete same mind set here. I’m in that numbing process too, it’s like what’s the point of caring about anything…..but then if I’m being honest deep down I still really do care or else I probably wouldn’t feel as bad! I get so annoyed with myself tbh

we must be, i can picture a lot of what you’re saying like it’s something i would also say lol but i got you, we really do think alike though. i wanna seem like “i dont give a fuck” as well, but then it just seems like its not proving much worth and you’ll just be even more damaged than how you started. its all so complicated, but it cant be much of a problem if its balanced i guess :/. believe me, i’m as annoyed as you are.

Right!!! Every night I’m just like ….whaaaaattt theeee fuuuuck lol cause it’s so complicated and I don’t want to be the way I am but idk what do about it! I’ve literally tried everything possible to somehow change and nothin. So it’s just like wtf.

yeah, i definitely got you on that. by night, i could try and think of as many plans and things to say as much as i want, but there’s no benefitting to it. it all goes downhill because in hopes of having some change to go your way for once, it’s the complete opposite. then it goes to being in regret, and feeling like shit, just not sure to know what to do anymore. some people are just so careless about feelings these days, it saddens me. so, you’re not far off.

Very true. But I also feel like those people who are so careless with others and their feelings are worse off than people like us. I can speak for myself at least. I think those who treat others wrongly are also unhappy, but it’s worse for them because they feel so terrible about themselves, they’re so far gone, they don’t recognize how they’re hurting others. We get hurt, so we know how it feels and we can then go on and treat someone better than we were treated. And in a way doing good for others can make you feel better. Not completely but a little. However the ones who are doing the hurting….still hurt in the end. We feel like the broken ones …but I don’t really think we are..

i strongly agree with you. what makes it even worse for them is that once they bring the pain amongst them, they can’t snap out of it and don’t realize what they do. you see, we get hurt, but for the most part, we have reason. however, it sounds as if we could be just like them…

Yes. It’s very easy to become just as bad as them. I’ve seen it in myself, start to treat others wrongly looking for some kind of control…like I’m not the one getting hurt this time, but it doesn’t fix anything. It pays off to be good to others.

that’s because we let emotions get the best out of us. for me, i know it’s hard to see people change from who they used to be. controlling them wouldn’t be fair because it’s all up to their personality and they think to “grow out of their ways” where you can’t even tell them right through wrong. but its even more heartwrenching when its someone you truly care about. just knowing that they don’t feel how they used to about you, you know?

Yeah I get you. That’s the worst :( Seeing it all play out in front of you and you can’t do anything about them no longer feeling the same. Slowly destroys you.

exactly. like, a piece of you just dies inside because you never intended for it go in such a manner. not only that, but you also tend to feel like you gave it your all, but sadly it wasnt enough. i’m telling you, don’t even try to hear those words when you develop actual feelings for a person. that’s where you break. :(

http://mymindsarchive.tumblr.com/post/95405383322/heytherekittennnnnn-mymindsarchive-replied-to

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive:

heytherekittennnnnn:

heytherekittennnnnn:

mymindsarchive replied to your post: for real though. it’s a fucked up struggle to get out from being stuck. no matter how hard you try, it just finds it’s way back to you somehow. it’s the worst. :(

Yes!!! A fucked up and CONSTANT struggle. You feel you pull yourself…

YES. Omg idk how many nights I’ve gotten like 1-2 hrs sleep cause I was too busy thinking. I hate it so much, I literally felt like my anxiety was going to kill me. And I’m like wtf man. It’s tough and it makes me sad when I relate so well to people like you cause this feeling is something you wouldn’t wish on anyone else. And I also wish I had some kind of advice to give to help, but like how am I gunna give advice on something I can’t even get myself out of you know? Lol I try and tell myself all the positive shit till I actually believe it. Some days I do, others I don’t. Things get so overwhelming, it’s so rough.

god damn, im just kinda glad about it right now that you can relate with this as well as i do lol. regardless, its sad generally. throughout summer, i’ve been down on my mind than i ever been before. heart got too heavy, stomach kept churning, my mind was running through some wild shit, and i could barely sleep cause i was afraid of the things i wasn’t going to be emotionally ready for because then there’s gonna be questions left unanswered, you’ll start to blame yourself, and when you wanna do whats best, it feels wrong. you feel like with all the advice you get like “you’ll be fine” and “you’ll move past it” it just results into something you don’t wanna hear and it ends up hurting badly. all in all, you just feel like it won’t settle itself out.

I completely understand. I feel the exact same way!!! Especially the heavy heart
:( that’s what I hate the most. Feel like I can’t breathe. The affects of broken heartedness. Sometimes people say the dumbest things to try and help you but words ain’t gunna work for nobody. For someone else who doesn’t understand I’d feel better if they just listened and said nothing at all. So many times people don’t listen to what you’re actually saying and they come out with “well you just gotta stay strong, keep moving” like what? You think I don’t know that. If being strong and moving could answer my problems they’d all be gone by now. I’m so tired of talking to other people about it cause they all tell me the same things so I keep it to myself most of the time which typically makes things a lot worse. I guess it’s better to find someone who relates and understands. At least we’re not the only ones lol

i really like the way you think. you’re right about everything. people expect you to take it all in and walk it off, but what help is that gonna do when i hit that sinking feeling where my heart really gets to the bottom? i mean, they believe that unfixable problems can be repaired so easily. im honestly the same way because even if i try to explain my problems to other people and they don’t understand, what’s the use? im better off with people who get what im saying otherwise i remain quiet and just keep thoughts on my own. :(

Thank you lol but you’re right, it’s just not as simple as everyone around you thinks. So many people are so oblivious when it comes to what’s really going on. Can’t tell anyone what’s going on cause they don’t understand but you can’t keep it in because it drives you crazy. It’s so back and forth, makes you think like how could there be any way out? I still believe there is a way out though…just don’t know what it is yet. But I hope what you’re going through eases up. Day by day, we’re still making it.

thats exactly taking the words out of my mouth lol. if i were to tell anyone the truth on what i go through, they’re just gonna think im crazy. and i mean assuming that i need help cause i’m surrounded by people that dont consider the consequences. its times like those i wish i had a friend to at least have some sense and discuss, cause not many people are willing to get you straight as a whip. i believe you that there could be a way out, but its all in a strategy. because even if we do manage to forget, we’re left things that may remind us, which as i said, finds its way back around, and thats the glue to being stuck. i just hope for the best, but for now, its a numbing process.

OMG yes yes yes. Sammmmee, we’re twins! Lol not to make it into some kinda joke cause it really is so sad what’s happening but I mean we’re in the complete same mind set here. I’m in that numbing process too, it’s like what’s the point of caring about anything…..but then if I’m being honest deep down I still really do care or else I probably wouldn’t feel as bad! I get so annoyed with myself tbh

we must be, i can picture a lot of what you’re saying like it’s something i would also say lol but i got you, we really do think alike though. i wanna seem like “i dont give a fuck” as well, but then it just seems like its not proving much worth and you’ll just be even more damaged than how you started. its all so complicated, but it cant be much of a problem if its balanced i guess :/. believe me, i’m as annoyed as you are.

Right!!! Every night I’m just like ….whaaaaattt theeee fuuuuck lol cause it’s so complicated and I don’t want to be the way I am but idk what do about it! I’ve literally tried everything possible to somehow change and nothin. So it’s just like wtf.

yeah, i definitely got you on that. by night, i could try and think of as many plans and things to say as much as i want, but there’s no benefitting to it. it all goes downhill because in hopes of having some change to go your way for once, it’s the complete opposite. then it goes to being in regret, and feeling like shit, just not sure to know what to do anymore. some people are just so careless about feelings these days, it saddens me. so, you’re not far off.

Very true. But I also feel like those people who are so careless with others and their feelings are worse off than people like us. I can speak for myself at least. I think those who treat others wrongly are also unhappy, but it’s worse for them because they feel so terrible about themselves, they’re so far gone, they don’t recognize how they’re hurting others. We get hurt, so we know how it feels and we can then go on and treat someone better than we were treated. And in a way doing good for others can make you feel better. Not completely but a little. However the ones who are doing the hurting….still hurt in the end. We feel like the broken ones …but I don’t really think we are..

i strongly agree with you. what makes it even worse for them is that once they bring the pain amongst them, they can’t snap out of it and don’t realize what they do. you see, we get hurt, but for the most part, we have reason. however, it sounds as if we could be just like them…

Yes. It’s very easy to become just as bad as them. I’ve seen it in myself, start to treat others wrongly looking for some kind of control…like I’m not the one getting hurt this time, but it doesn’t fix anything. It pays off to be good to others.

that’s because we let emotions get the best out of us. for me, i know it’s hard to see people change from who they used to be. controlling them wouldn’t be fair because it’s all up to their personality and they think to “grow out of their ways” where you can’t even tell them right through wrong. but its even more heartwrenching when its someone you truly care about. just knowing that they don’t feel how they used to about you, you know?